Introduction
Summary of the Book Work Won’t Love You Back by Sarah Jaffe Before we proceed, let’s look into a brief overview of the book. Think about what it would feel like to live a life shaped by your own terms—free from the pressure to treat your job like the center of your universe. Imagine seeking joy, fairness, and balance, rather than forcing yourself to love work that drains you. In the pages above, we’ve explored how the modern world has taught us to believe that loving our work is the key to a meaningful life. We’ve seen how this idea can trap us, making it easier for employers to pay less and demand more. But this isn’t the only way. By understanding history, exposing unfairness, and challenging common myths, we can find a path toward a better future. One where people are valued for who they are, not just what they do. Dive in and discover how to break free.
Chapter 1: Uncovering Why The Charming Promise Of ‘Work You Love’ Is Actually A Trap.
Imagine hearing over and over again that if you just find a job you love, you will never feel like you’re working. Sounds great, right? The idea is that if you pick a career that matches your passion, interests, and deepest dreams, each day will feel joyful and satisfying. You may have heard this message on social media, in graduation speeches, or on posters in your school’s hallway. At first glance, it seems like friendly advice: choose a job that feels meaningful, and you’ll be happy forever. But when we dig deeper, this idea can become a trap. It creates the expectation that your job should fill your heart with constant delight. If that doesn’t happen, you might feel like you’re a failure. Even worse, employers can use this idea to expect more from you without giving you fair pay or respect.
This do what you love message began spreading widely in recent decades. Before that, many people did not expect to love their work. They often saw their jobs as ways to earn a living so they could provide for their families, have a comfortable home, and enjoy free time. Back then, having a steady paycheck, safe working conditions, and free weekends mattered more than feeling passionate about tasks at the factory or office. However, today’s job market encourages us to see our work as our main source of personal value. People feel pressured to find a job that perfectly matches their interests and talents, as if our purpose in life is all about our careers. By making us believe our worth comes from loving what we do, it quietly suggests that we should accept bad treatment because supposedly love makes any sacrifice worth it.
When we believe that the greatest goal in life is to discover a job that fits our soul like a glove, we risk overlooking the unfair conditions we might face. Employers may take advantage of these beliefs. They might pay low wages while expecting long hours, saying, If you truly love this field, you’ll put up with the tough parts. This can place blame on workers if they feel exhausted or fed up, as if the problem isn’t with low pay or bad hours, but with their attitude. In other words, if you don’t love your work, the fault supposedly lies with you, not with the system that asks too much and gives too little. This idea makes it harder for employees to stand up for themselves and fight for better pay, work-life balance, or decent benefits.
The hidden danger in this labor of love idea is that it allows unfairness to continue. If everyone believes we should be grateful simply to have work we enjoy, then asking for fair pay or resting on weekends looks like being selfish or ungrateful. But loving what you do should never mean accepting less than you deserve. It’s completely possible to have both meaningful work and fair treatment. By seeing through this sweet-sounding promise, we begin to understand that real happiness at work does not come from pretending every moment is perfect, but from being treated with dignity, having the freedom to enjoy time off, and earning a living wage. This understanding sets the stage for exploring how our world got stuck with this idea, and what we can do to escape its sneaky trap.
Chapter 2: Discovering How Past Deals Between Bosses And Workers Slowly Fell Apart Over Time.
Long before the modern obsession with loving your job, there were different understandings between employers and employees. In the early to mid-20th century, many workers in the United States, especially white men in stable industries, could expect a certain balance. Known informally as the Fordist Compromise, named after car manufacturer Henry Ford, this arrangement offered shorter workdays, weekends off, and wages high enough to support a family on a single paycheck. It wasn’t a perfect system—women, people of color, and many others were often excluded from these benefits—but it set a standard that work should provide security and freedom outside of the job. This balance meant that a good life didn’t depend on endlessly loving your tasks; rather, it depended on having fair conditions and enough free time to enjoy life beyond the workplace.
However, as the 1960s arrived, tensions began to rise. Employers started feeling frustrated with the steady gains that workers and their unions had made. Bosses wanted to return to bigger profits, and they saw unions, secure jobs, and guaranteed benefits as barriers. Over time, they started to push back, working closely with politicians and policymakers to roll back these worker protections. This shift led to what is commonly known as neoliberalism, a belief system that places profit and competition above everything else. Under neoliberal policies, industries broke unions, cut social programs, and pressured workers to do more with less. Jobs that once provided stability became shaky and uncertain. Even though many new positions in service, technology, and health care opened up, the pay and conditions often fell short of providing a comfortable life.
As these changes took root, more people—particularly women and people of color—entered the workforce, often into lower-paying service jobs. When the idea of loving your work merged with this new reality, it created a perfect storm. Employers could now say, Look, we don’t have to pay much, because you should love this work for its own sake. With unions weakened and social safety nets shrinking, individuals had to depend more heavily on their own ability to secure a decent job. Without the bargaining power of strong worker groups, many accepted longer hours and fewer benefits, hoping passion or purpose would make up for the sacrifices. Slowly, the stable arrangements that once existed crumbled, replaced by a system that prized profit and demanded workers give their hearts and souls for little in return.
The collapse of the old balance wasn’t just about losing benefits and shorter hours. It changed how we think about work itself. Instead of seeing a job as a fair trade—labor for wages—work began to be seen as something that should fill our emotional lives. This new mindset stepped in just as stable, well-paid factory jobs disappeared. Creative industries, non-profits, and service roles expanded. Healthcare, technology, and retail work became massive employers. Yet many of these roles offered limited union support and lower wages compared to old manufacturing jobs. By encouraging workers to find personal meaning in their jobs, companies shifted attention away from the need for better conditions. We must understand these historical changes to see why today’s love your job message often hides how power, profit, and inequality shape our working lives.
Chapter 3: Examining How Neoliberal Forces Changed Our Work Lives, Leaving Us More Vulnerable.
As neoliberal ideas took hold in the 1970s and beyond, the working world became more unpredictable. Factories shut down or moved to places with cheaper labor. Many skilled laborers found themselves out of work. Meanwhile, service industries like retail, hospitality, care work, and fast-food chains expanded rapidly, often hiring workers at low wages. Without the support of unions or strong labor laws, these employees had little power to demand better conditions. Gone were the days of guaranteed weekends off and pensions. Instead, people faced part-time contracts, unpredictable schedules, and low pay. All of this placed workers in a vulnerable position. They felt pressure to appear eager, passionate, and willing to go above and beyond, hoping this would keep them employed or help them climb a shaky job ladder.
In this new world shaped by neoliberalism, jobs weren’t just scarce and less stable. They also came with a new set of expectations. No longer were you simply a factory hand or a clerk behind a counter. Now you had to bring your best self to work. That meant smiling even when you felt tired, acting enthusiastic even if the pay was low, and showing devotion to company values that might not match your own. Employers encouraged the idea that working hard and loving what you do would eventually pay off—maybe you’d get promoted, maybe you’d open your own business one day. But beneath those promises, something more troubling was happening: by linking work to love, employers could justify giving less. After all, if you love what you do, shouldn’t you accept lower pay?
Neoliberal forces also reshaped our understanding of success. In earlier times, success often meant having steady employment and the ability to support a decent life outside of work. Now, success is tied tightly to personal happiness, creativity, and identity. Doing well at your job is seen as proof of your worth as a person. If you fail, it feels like a personal shortcoming rather than a sign that the job market is unfair or the pay is too low. This puts huge pressure on each individual, since love for the job is supposed to replace what unions and strong labor laws once provided: dignity, fairness, and time off. By expecting workers to bring their whole hearts to the job, the system avoids dealing with the fact that wages have not kept up and that working conditions are often poor.
This shift didn’t only affect certain groups. As time went on, it shaped everyone’s lives, whether you worked in a fancy tech startup or a budget retail store. With no clear path to stable middle-class comfort, people clung to the idea that loving your work could justify their struggles. They wanted to believe that their efforts would lead to something worthwhile. But the more people tried to find perfect, passion-filled jobs, the more they found themselves working harder, longer, and for less than before. This difficult reality wasn’t a personal failure. It was the outcome of a massive economic and political shift that made workers weaker and less able to demand fairness. Understanding this helps us see why the message just do what you love can so easily mask deeper problems in the working world today.
Chapter 4: Understanding Gendered Views Of Work And Their Connection To Care And Creativity.
Think about the types of jobs society considers caring work: teaching young children, nursing the sick, looking after elders, cleaning homes, or providing comfort in times of struggle. Throughout history, people have seen these roles as naturally fitting for women. Meanwhile, fields like art, engineering, writing, or science—creative or innovative forms of work—were often viewed as belonging to men. These stereotypes arise from old-fashioned beliefs that women are more nurturing, patient, and giving, while men are more creative, inventive, or inspired by big ideas. Of course, these are just myths. Women can be brilliant engineers and artists, and men can be caring nurses or teachers. But these images remain powerful and shape how we value different types of work today.
Under the labor-of-love ethic, these gendered views give employers excuses not to pay fairly. For example, if caregiving is seen as something women naturally love to do, then why offer good wages or solid benefits? After all, they are supposedly just doing what comes easily to them, right? Similarly, if a man’s creative work is seen as pure fun, a mere expression of his personal genius, then paying him a stable wage might be seen as unnecessary. He should feel lucky to be creating, even if he struggles to pay the rent. Both of these perspectives ignore the reality that all work—caring or creating—can be exhausting, complex, and deserving of proper compensation and respect.
When we divide work into caring and creative categories and then place a gender label on each, we set up a situation where some work is undervalued. Caregivers, who often hold society together by teaching children, helping patients, and supporting families, frequently face low pay and poor conditions. Creative workers, pushed to treat their passion as reward enough, often put in endless hours and accept unstable gigs because they believe their true calling is worth the sacrifice. In both cases, the message is the same: loving your work should be enough, so don’t complain about what you’re missing. This approach allows employers to save money on wages and keeps workers stuck in unfair positions.
This gendered split can affect everyone, regardless of who they are. It boxes people into narrow categories. Women in caring roles might struggle to break free from low-wage, emotionally draining jobs, while men in creative fields may feel pressured to keep producing and innovating without proper rest or security. All of this rests on the idea that work should be loved so deeply that fairness doesn’t matter. Breaking these stereotypes is a key step in challenging the labor-of-love idea. We must recognize that caring and creating are both essential human activities. Both deserve respect, decent pay, and healthy working conditions. Only then can we begin to see work as something more balanced, allowing both women and men to pursue the roles that fit them best while still demanding the fairness and stability they deserve.
Chapter 5: Seeing How The ‘Love For Work’ Idea Lets Employers Pay Us Much Less.
If everyone believes that real happiness comes from loving their job, employers have an easy way to keep wages low. They can say, You’re lucky to work here doing what you adore. Isn’t that worth more than a big paycheck? This logic turns fair pay into an extra treat rather than a basic right. It makes it seem as though real professionals don’t care about money because they’re too busy enjoying what they do. But in truth, no matter how much you like a task, you still need enough income to cover your rent, buy groceries, and live a decent life. The idea of loving your work is powerful because it hides the fact that getting paid fairly is essential. Without proper pay, passion alone won’t keep the lights on at home.
This situation can create a strange kind of guilt. If workers ask for a raise or better conditions, they might worry they’ll be seen as greedy or ungrateful. After all, how can you complain if you’re following your passion? Employers can say, If you aren’t satisfied, maybe you don’t truly love this field. This turns the tables, making workers doubt their own emotions rather than questioning their bosses’ reluctance to pay more. It’s a clever trick: by linking love and work, bosses can dodge responsibility for poor compensation. They can keep pushing employees to give more, treat their workplaces like personal missions, and accept long hours without complaint.
For many people in caring or creative professions, this can be especially damaging. Teachers who spend hours grading papers at home, nurses who pull double shifts, or artists who sleep in tiny apartments to afford paint supplies all face similar challenges. If they speak up, people say, But you chose this path! You must have known it wouldn’t pay much! Or, If you love it, why are you complaining? In other words, the love-for-work idea makes it look like the worker’s personal choice to suffer financially. This excuses society, employers, and policymakers from changing the conditions that make these jobs underpaid and demanding in the first place.
We must remember that fairness and proper pay are not luxuries, they are necessities. Even if you are passionate about your job, you deserve decent compensation and a balanced life. Loving your work should not mean accepting scraps or being thankful for the chance to live your dream under terrible conditions. Think about it this way: if you were truly valued for your dedication, wouldn’t your employers want you to stay healthy, have time to rest, and enjoy a stable income? If they truly cared, they wouldn’t expect you to sacrifice your comfort and security. Recognizing how the love-for-work idea can lead to lower pay is the first step to resisting these unfair demands. Once we see the game being played, we can start to push back, asking for what we truly deserve.
Chapter 6: Realizing How Calling Work A ‘Family’ Makes Us Sacrifice More Than We Should.
Have you ever heard a company refer to its employees as a family? On the surface, this sounds warm and kind. The idea is that everyone cares for each other and shares common goals. But think carefully about how actual families work. Families (in a healthy sense) are built on unconditional love, trust, and support. They don’t fire you if you fail to meet a sales target. They don’t ask you to leave if you can’t put in extra hours. When an employer calls their team a family, they might be trying to make workers feel guilty for not working harder or longer. After all, if you truly care about this family, shouldn’t you make sacrifices? By wrapping work expectations in the language of family, companies pressure people to accept conditions they might otherwise reject.
This workplace family talk often shows up when bosses want more loyalty without giving extra pay or benefits. They may say, We’re all in this together, or We need to work harder for the good of everyone here. But let’s not forget: the company’s main goal is to make a profit. Unlike a real family, they can let you go when it’s convenient or stop scheduling your shifts if business is slow. Pretending the workplace is a family makes it harder for employees to set boundaries. If you complain about poor conditions or ask for a raise, management might act hurt, as if you’ve betrayed them. This clever use of family language can silence workers, making them hesitate before standing up for themselves.
The family metaphor can also limit workers’ ability to unite for better rights. In an actual family, children don’t form unions to bargain with their parents. They don’t go on strike to demand a later bedtime. But in the working world, unions, strikes, and collective action are important tools that employees can use to improve conditions. If a company convinces workers that a union would destroy their loving family atmosphere, employees might feel too guilty to organize. This feeling helps keep wages low, hours long, and benefits scarce. The work as family message aims to keep power in the hands of bosses by making workers think they’re being selfish if they demand basic fairness.
Real families know that rest, respect, and emotional well-being matter. Real families want every member to flourish and grow. If your workplace truly resembled a caring family, it would encourage breaks, provide fair pay, and avoid overworking people until they collapse. But because companies often care more about profit than people, it’s crucial to recognize that these warm, fuzzy words are often just masks. By seeing through the family language, you protect yourself from guilt trips and manipulation. You remember that a real family can’t fire you and that real love isn’t used to squeeze more work out of you. Understanding how these family-like claims can twist your feelings helps you stay grounded and demand the respect you deserve.
Chapter 7: Seeing The Hidden Harm: Burnout, Isolation, And The Loss Of Real Relationships.
Imagine working long hours day after day, barely having time to rest or see friends. You arrive home late and leave early, your mind always buzzing with job-related worries. Over time, this wears you down. This state of constant tiredness and stress is called burnout. Burnout leaves you feeling empty and exhausted, unable to enjoy hobbies or even relax properly. When loving your job is painted as a top priority, it can push you to work beyond healthy limits. After all, if you truly love it, isn’t it worth a few more hours? But these extra hours pile up, eating away at your energy until you feel hollow inside.
In addition to burnout, focusing too much on work can leave you feeling alone. If you spend most of your time at a job, what happens to your friendships, family ties, and community connections? Texting a friend once a month or watching TV with a sibling for a few minutes before bed can’t replace long, comfortable hours spent talking, laughing, and genuinely connecting. When work demands your full attention, it’s easy to neglect the people you care about most. Over time, relationships grow distant, and loneliness sets in. This isolation isn’t natural; it’s a result of a world where work rules over personal life.
The irony is that the very love we’re supposed to feel for our work can separate us from the love we have for our friends, relatives, and communities. Instead of experiencing a rich, balanced life, we often end up exhausted and alone. Meanwhile, employers benefit from this imbalance. They get more hours of labor, more enthusiasm, more dedication, all at a lower cost. The workers—especially those in caring or creative fields—are drained of their energy and joy. They might end up wondering why they feel so empty, never questioning the root cause: that the work you love myth led them to neglect what truly matters—human connection.
Recognizing these hidden harms is an important step. It means understanding that if a job demands too much time and energy, it can poison the rest of your life. Real love, whether for a person or a hobby, doesn’t leave you feeling depleted and alone. It nourishes you and makes you feel more complete. By seeing how the labor-of-love idea can trap you in burnout and isolation, you can start to reclaim your sense of self. You realize you deserve friendships, family time, and interests outside of work. Your value isn’t measured by how passionately you work, but by the wholeness of your life. This understanding gives you the power to push back and seek a healthier, more balanced way of living.
Chapter 8: Exploring Ways To Fight Back: Reconnecting With Each Other Beyond Work’s Grasp.
If this situation feels unfair and exhausting, you’re not alone. Many people are starting to notice the problems with the labor-of-love ethic. They are beginning to ask questions: Why should I accept low pay for meaningful work? Why must I sacrifice family time or fun evenings with friends just because my job expects total devotion? Answering these questions often leads to a crucial step: reconnecting with other workers. Instead of feeling like isolated individuals competing for a dream job, people can come together to share stories, support each other, and demand change. These connections help break the illusion that work is your only source of happiness and purpose.
When people connect with each other outside of work, they remember that life includes many kinds of fulfillment. Sharing meals, playing sports, talking about books, or simply walking together can remind us that happiness can be found in everyday moments. Building friendships and community activities that don’t center on work helps restore balance. It’s a reminder that your identity is more than what you do for a paycheck. In these connections, you find emotional support and realize that struggles aren’t personal failures; they’re often caused by economic forces that push workers too hard. Together, people can brainstorm new ways to live that don’t revolve around overwork.
This process of reconnecting often leads to more organized efforts, like joining or forming unions, participating in workers’ groups, or supporting campaigns for better labor laws. By banding together, employees gain strength they could never have alone. It’s one thing to say to your boss, I deserve a raise. It’s another thing entirely to say it alongside dozens or hundreds of coworkers. Collective action reminds everyone that no matter how much an employer uses language like family or love, the real power comes from people united. When workers stand together, they can fight for fair wages, reasonable hours, and policies that allow them to enjoy life outside the workplace.
Reconnecting with each other also encourages us to rethink what we value as a society. Instead of seeing work as the center of our lives, what if we saw it as just one part of a bigger picture? What if we measured success not by job titles or salaries, but by the quality of our relationships, our health, our creativity, and our ability to explore what interests us? With strong connections to other workers, friends, and communities, we can build a world where people have the time and freedom to truly live, rather than racing through life chained to a job they must pretend to love. By understanding that we’re all in this together, we can resist the pressures of the labor-of-love myth and create a healthier, happier way forward.
Chapter 9: Refusing To Let ‘Labor Of Love’ Tales Silence Unions, Strikes, And Collective Power.
One of the biggest dangers of the work you love message is that it can discourage workers from coming together and pushing for change. If everyone thinks loving work is the key to happiness, then problems like low pay and poor conditions become personal issues instead of matters of collective concern. Instead of saying, We need a union to fix these problems, the labor-of-love idea tells you to just try harder, be more grateful, or find a different field. But history shows us that unions, strikes, and other forms of collective action are powerful tools. They have forced employers to provide fairer wages, safer workplaces, and better hours. By standing side by side, workers have challenged entire industries and reshaped what we consider normal or fair.
If you believe that your love for your job should replace the need for stable conditions, you might never join a union. You might feel guilty about striking, thinking it harms the family-like atmosphere. But unions aren’t about harming anyone; they’re about balancing power. Companies have a lot of control, and without organized worker power, employees stand alone. United, workers gain a voice strong enough to ensure they receive what they deserve. Unions push back against the idea that loving your work means accepting bad conditions. They say, No, we love what we do, but we also need fairness.
Across many industries, from teachers and nurses to tech workers and grocery store employees, unions and collective actions have helped secure important wins. Sometimes these wins are big, like wage increases or paid family leave. Other times, they are smaller but still meaningful, like fairer scheduling practices or opportunities for career advancement. Every victory shows that workers can influence the rules of the game. These successes weaken the myth that if you aren’t satisfied, it’s your own fault for not loving your job enough. Instead, they point to the reality: Conditions can improve when workers stand together and demand change.
It’s important to remember that creating better conditions doesn’t mean destroying the idea that work can sometimes be rewarding or enjoyable. It just means removing the pressure to find all your meaning and self-worth in a job. By refusing to let the labor-of-love message silence collective power, we protect ourselves from exploitation. With unions and strikes, we remind employers that workers are people with needs, rights, and lives beyond their paychecks. We show that true respect means fair treatment, not empty praise. Holding onto collective power and refusing to be tricked by just love your work stories is how we move toward a future where people can enjoy their jobs without sacrificing their well-being or dignity.
Chapter 10: Imagining A Future Where We Value Real Freedom, Fair Wages, And True Happiness Beyond Work.
What if we lived in a world where no one felt trapped by the need to perform endless hours of work just to survive? A world where fair wages and shorter workweeks were standard, allowing people to have time for their families, hobbies, communities, and personal growth? Picture a society where employers couldn’t hide behind labor of love stories to justify low pay and poor treatment. Instead, they would have to provide decent conditions simply because that’s what we, as a society, demand. This future wouldn’t discourage people from doing what they love—it would make it easier. When you’re not forced to work nonstop, you have more freedom to explore true passions.
In such a future, universal basic income might give everyone a financial safety net. People wouldn’t have to accept underpaid jobs because they had no other options. They could say no to unfair work, focus on unpaid but valuable tasks like caring for a sick parent, or spend time developing a skill before turning it into a career. This freedom would break the chain that ties our self-worth to our jobs. Instead of seeing ourselves only as workers, we could see ourselves as full human beings with many layers—artists, friends, learners, neighbors, or parents—rather than just employees.
Imagine how relationships would improve if we no longer measured our success by career achievements. We’d spend time together, share stories, and help one another without always looking at the clock. The loneliness and isolation that come from overwork would fade. Work would become just one part of life, not its defining feature. People could choose work that interests them without worrying that they must pretend to love it all the time. Real enjoyment would come naturally, not from forced enthusiasm.
Getting to this future will require big changes. It will mean rethinking our values, supporting policies that protect workers, and encouraging collective action. It will involve challenging myths that have guided us for too long, like the idea that loving your job should make you accept bad conditions. But every step we take in that direction—every time workers stand together, every new law that grants paid leave, every effort to reduce long work hours—brings us closer. In this imagined future, human beings will finally be free to find meaning, happiness, and connection beyond the narrow limits of work. We’ll discover that true fulfillment isn’t about endlessly loving a job, but about building a world where dignity, fairness, and time for real living are guaranteed to everyone.
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All about the Book
Explore the nuances of labor and love in ‘Work Won’t Love You Back’ by Sarah Jaffe, a compelling examination of the emotional toll of work, perfect for those seeking a deeper understanding of workplace commitment and sacrifice.
Sarah Jaffe is a renowned author and journalist whose insightful analyses of labor and culture challenge conventional perspectives, making her a critical voice in contemporary discussions about work dynamics and personal fulfillment.
Human Resources Professionals, Career Coaches, Labor Activists, Psychologists, Business Leaders
Reading about labor relations, Exploring workplace culture, Volunteering for labor rights, Participating in book clubs, Writing about social issues
Workplace inequality, Mental health implications of work, The gig economy, Work-life balance
Your job may not love you back, but your passion can drive you to change the labor landscape for others.
Angela Davis, Rebecca Solnit, Michelle Obama
Chicago Book Award, James Beard Media Award, George Orwell Prize for Political Writing
1. How does work shape our personal identities today? #2. In what ways does passion culture affect us? #3. Can loving your job lead to exploitation? #4. What are the emotional costs of labor in society? #5. How does economic inequality influence job satisfaction? #6. Are we conditioned to believe work is fulfilling? #7. What role does job security play in our lives? #8. How does the gig economy change our work experience? #9. What happens when hobbies turn into jobs? #10. How do societal expectations impact our career choices? #11. Can we find fulfillment outside traditional employment? #12. What is the relationship between work and community? #13. How do we combat burnout in modern work culture? #14. Why should we question the value of unpaid labor? #15. In what ways do policies affect worker well-being? #16. How can work-life balance improve our happiness? #17. Are we redefining success in terms of work? #18. What is the significance of labor rights movements? #19. How does capitalism influence our understanding of work? #20. Can self-care coexist with demanding job responsibilities?
Work Won’t Love You Back, Sarah Jaffe, work culture, labor rights, self-help, productivity, work-life balance, career advice, emotional labor, modern work, capitalism critique, employee wellbeing
https://www.amazon.com/Work-Wont-Love-You-Back/dp/1541617506
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